Tuesday, 9 January 2018

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind - and Keep - Love



Book 2 of 2018 is Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind - and Keep - Love by Amir Levine.

A friend insisted I read this... multiple times. So, of course I did. Only in agreement that we would book club over it. That will happen soon.

Although I am an outspoken critic of evolutionary psychology since I don't believe it a science due to its inability to demonstrate scientific method behind its hypotheses, this was not so bad. It at least did what I like with therapy type approaches and offered solid skills and tools to learn to deal with the perceptions it presents.

There are a few tests in the book. I'm a Secure type with some Anxious tendencies. Very much not an Avoidant type. None of this surprised me too much.

One thing I did like was that this is the first time someone has said that sure, happiness is intrinsic but not when you are so closely connected to another person. In fact, you become biologically connected to people who you love. Their happiness does effect yours.

It never sat well with me that I was to blame for all sadness I have felt in life. Sometimes, I'm said because you are. Or someone leaves and it breaks my heart. Be it a break-up, death or a friend moving to another city.

This book will help me to build on my ability to identify what drives people and to be a better friend. It also gives me permission to say certain behaviours are not ok and to voice what I need. Those are all good things. Massive massive things.

5 secure boundaries out of 5.

Should I read this? If you are open to being a better person and face your challenges then yes. If not, go do something else.
What did I learn? I'm not intolerant. I just know my boundaries.

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