Sunday 17 March 2013
For a few years in my life recently, I would spend a lot of time distracting myself with activities and people so that I wouldn't have to think about all the awful stuff that had been my past life.
I made friends and spent wonderful moments with them. I still do.
I tried hobbies and developed life long skills that have extended who I am by leaps and bounds.
I read a few books and now have a library in my head and so many more to read.
The other day while waiting for some close friends to turn up to drinks at the Hyatt Graden Moet Bar, I was left with some time to myself. They were all about 30 minutes late and as usual, I was on time or early as usual.
I grabbed a glass of bubbly, a glass of water and then spent 25 minutes setting up my new phone that work gave me.
When everyone turned up, I was happy to show off my new phone and get right back in to people time.
The revealing moment though was that it is no longer about distracting myself from the horrors of reliving the past in my head. The moments alone are no longer lonely. I don't need to be distracted.
This is a huge thing. A big realisation. A giant step forward for Mana-kind.
Saturday 9 March 2013
I think it is funny that people think I am going to fall apart every time I say something crap happened in my life. One thing you should understand about me is that I'm an extrovert and articulating my thoughts lets me process them. That is why I write and talk and then feel better about it all.
Yes, I once fell apart so badly that I thought I would never put myself together and go down in the annals of history as another Humpty Dumpty. But I was sick then and am not now. Maybe Humpty was just depressed. I mean seriously, who sits on a wall when they are oddly shaped and unsuited for such things?
Like I always say and do, participate and take chances but never put so much of yourself in to anything that if it fails you will be lost. Life is far too short for long term sulking. Life is wonderful :)