She eats the top of the watermelon

There are things that always make me think of my mother but nothing strikes me harder and brings a bigger smile than when I cut up a wedge of watermelon.

My mother is the most generous person I have ever known. I doubt I will meet anyone who gives more. Sometimes it frustrates me that she gives to her last drop and then some but that is I guess what makes her, her.

As a child, there was only ever one thing that my mother ever took for herself that she didn't sacrifice for others. Take in to account a story I was told as a child about my mum coming home from her first day at school and telling her father that a boy there didn't have a pencil. My very wise grandfather told her that next time she should break her pencil in half and give it to the person in need. I heard this story many times but what taught me generosity was my mother's ability to give and give and give and only feel happy as a result.

Now, my mother is known for being the best maker of fruit salad. She cooks many things but her tropical fruit salad is the perfect mix of everything. I've tried to imitate her but it always ends up with too much mango (I know, is that possible?) or skewed to one flavour. She gets it right.

Since I was a babe, I've watched her carefully and quite deliberately cut up each and every fruit that went in to the fruit salad. The right amount of kiwi fruit mixed with mango and a splash of passionfruit and then watermelon and berries and whatever was in season.

Usually, you buy a wedge of watermelon and not a whole melon as it is too much to consume before it goes to waste. The top of the wedge is the centre of the watermelon. It is the softest and sweetest part. The heart. The reward. No part of a watermelon tastes better.

My mother unwraps the thick shop style plastic from the wedge and cuts the thick green and white rind away. She then, with the flick of a wrist, cuts the top of the wedge out and slowly eats it. After she is done consuming the prize of the melon, she cuts up the rest and hands it to the bowl that holds the perfect salad.

She always smiles as she does this. Sometimes, my sister and I would ask for some and of course, she gave us some but it was the one thing she always took a part of for herself.

I can not remember one other thing or time that my mum ever took the best part for herself. She always happily gave the best to others. It was her culture and her upbringing. It is the best part of her.

Tonight as I cut up a slice of watermelon, I put the nicest parts aside for my mother. She is not here but those pieces are hers. In what is our culture, I will throw some of the best pieces off the balcony in honour of her not being here but being in my thoughts.

Maybe that makes no sense but it is how I will silently show I love her and know what it means for her to be here. It means she gets the top of the wedge of watermelon.

It was her one thing. That one thing she gave herself first. It is the part I will always throw a piece of away for her, forever.

I think true love is...

I think this thing we refer to as "true love" is a combination of many loves.

Some get it from one person. Some get it from a few. Others get it from a stadium full of fans.

Whatever it is to you, it fills you up. It makes you feel whole. Books have been written about it. Battles fought. Lives lost, even to the still living.

Since my life feels like being wrapped in an unending everlasting Righteous Brothers style love, I realise I am one of the lucky ones. It wasn't always that way or I wasn't always aware it was.

Take it in. Breathe it. Walk it. Swim in the salty waters of all the loving tears. Don't waste it.

Let the people who love you express that. Let it soak in like warm monsoonal rain. Let it be.

It might not be a partner. Maybe your folks suck. It could be your children always scream at you. I don't know.

Just take the good bits and realise that true love is unconditional, unending and effortless love.

Gulliver's Travels

Book four of 2015 is Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift.

I enjoyed the stories but not the way it was written. It could be that I'm a little bit over that era of writing. Having read this as a child and again as an adult, I do recommend everyone should read it.

This is a fun book with some original ideas and fantastical tales. It is a joy in places.

It seems I am cured of old English classics. For the next few books, I will be reading in a language I'm at ease with and about something that involves more females characters.

Three yahoos out of five.

Should I read this? Absolutely. There are so many words created in this book and references that you must know if you are ever to understand the world :) Plus, it is fun!
What did I learn? I think I would have liked to live on Lupta. Maths rocks.

All About Braids

People constantly ask me questions about braids since I've spent about 30% of the last decade with my hair that way. The questions are usually innocent but sometimes naive and slightly insulting.

Ask anyone with an afro or any king of curly hair (no, not that wavy type that everyone has but real curls) and they will tell you that touching their hair is a complete no-no. If you wouldn't go up to a middle class white male with mainstream hair and ask to touch his hair then don't do it to others. Hell, just live by the rule that unless invited in gold embossed writing, don't touch any part of another person.

It isn't always insulting and it is sweet that every second day, someone exclaims how beautiful my hair is. Being different is fine and has its consequences. One them is answering all the questions there are about braided hair. Here are the most common queries.

Does it hurt? It looks painful.
The way my hairdresser braids my hair involves plaiting in synthetic hair (oh, shock horror) in to my hair from the base. She takes a small amount of my hair and plaits in about ten times that amount of hair in to one braid.

The first time you get braids, your scalp will be sore. If it isn't, the braids are not in tight enough and will not last. How long they last is another question. Each consecutive time you get your braids in, it doesn't hurt. At least not for me. I believe I have an average pain threshold.

When I say hurts, it is like a bruise. The first night you sleep on them, it can be quite uncomfortable but the second night they loosen and it is fine. That was so long ago for me that I might have forgotten how painful it was but I don't seem to remember it being awful.

Simple answer is: Yes, the first time.

Do you wash it?
First of all, don't call my hair "it." That's not very polite. We aren't discussing a new puppy or a crushed velvet jacket.

Yes, I wash my braids just like I wash my non-braided hair. There is a lot more shampoo and conditioner used as the hair mass is more but the ritual of washing is the same.

The braids stay in and are not undone each time I want to wash them. That is a common extension question.

Simple answer is: I wash it the same as I would my normal hair.

How long does it last?
This is a question that is subjective and depends on the braidee (yeah, I made that word up). My braids are put in very tightly and easily last 2-3 months. In that time, they will not be undone. Unplaiting a braid will usually destroy the braid completely so they stay in the whole 2-3 months.

The question should be When do you take them out? The answer to that is that it depends on how fast your hair grows. As your normal hair grows the braid will move away from the scalp. Certain kinds of hair products and pulling on the braid when washing it can result in the braid slipping off the hair. Even the way you sleep on your hair at night can effect the braid and make it loosen. All of this adds up to how long before you need to remove it.

Simple answer is: Anywhere from 1 to 3 months.

Can I touch your braids?
Huh! That was a test. Go back and read the introduction. No, you can not touch my hair.


I hope that helps answer your questions about braids. If you have anymore, let me know but I'll expect a cup of coffee in response.

How 2014 Saw Me Break and Rebuild

2014 was a very good and a very bad year for me. However much I enjoy the journey, I will always be a destination person and look at how things ended. 2014 ended very well for me and sees me entering 2015 at the top of my game in my career, with my friendships and healthwise.

Amongst my friends, I am known for my first world problems. They to me seem like a very big issue but to others they would be great problems to have. This last year of my life has involved me getting some perspective and accepting that my life is too good to complain about. There is no such thing as perfection and being upset with myself for not achieving that is plain silly. This is something that I still have to remind myself of but less often than I did in the past.

I always see life as being made up of three different and very distinct segments: Work, Love and Health. So here they are in retrospective.

Work

No means no

After burning out at Microsoft because of my inability to say NO, I learnt the best lesson of my life and have developed the ability to refuse to do every single thing I am asked to do. That is the best skill I have learnt in the past 12 months.

You don't pay me enough to... oh wait, yes you do

2014 saw me work in 3 different contracts delivering software in the biometrics and security space. I was paid very well, in part because I am hyper aware of my worth and because I've become a shit hot negotiator. A friend and ex-colleague reminded me of one of her favourite quotes of mine when I was being asked to do something really silly at work. I said "You don't pay me enough to do... oh wait, yes you do." People do have a price apparently or at least I do :)

The Rule of Three

If you've ever bitched to me about work then you will have had to listen to Damana's Work Rule of Three. For me to stay in a job, I must have two of these three things: Good People; Good Pay; and Good Work. If I have three out of three then I am sublimely happy, which is what I had at Oakton. If I have two then I can keep working happily for a long period of time. If I have one then I leave.

If I am unhappy at work, I try to fix the problem myself. Then I ask for help from a colleague, then from a manager and then their manager. If I can not find a way to fix what I am disliking then I leave. Life is linear and you only do it once. Don't work in a job you don't like. That is why I left the ATO.

Love

Circles within circles

Apparently all human beings have circles of people who hold differing levels of importance in their lives. I have worked out that my family and three of my good friends are in my inner most circle. Everyone else I know (and Stephen Fry) is in the next circle out. The rest of the universal set is full of people I don't know. It used to be more complex than that but I've simplified it. Only those in my inner circle get to know the details of my life and the rest can read about the less important parts of my life on social networks or my blog. My aim for 2015 will be to head for Dunbar's Number or about 200 people in my life.

You don't get to choose them

They always say that you don't get to choose family but if I had the choice, I would have still picked these guys. Through everything I do, my parents and my sister support me in every way I could wish for. They are the kindest souls and the best people I know. On those days when it feels the universe is kicking my arse, I know they love me. There is never a doubt ever. That can get you through anything. Anything. I chose them.

Don't call me Goddess

At the beginning of 2014, I dealt with the most difficult men I have ever had to deal with. My apartment was broken in to and one of my laptops and some underwear was stolen. The guy who did this was simultaneously sending me anonymous bouquets of roses and hate email with pictures of me with my eyes blacked out. He was tracked down via an online florist and spoken to informally by police. No one finger printed my apartment. There is no CSI Canberra. He only stopped because they warned him off. It seems that the police can not do anything unless you are violently raped or murdered.

Meanwhile, I had to deal with a senior colleague whose obsession with curves ended in me talking to our boss. The following three months saw this colleague make my life a living hell until I found a new role. I am very proud that I stayed strong through it and delivered my project early and well before leaving to a job that has been one of the best I've ever had in my life. Lemons to lemonade. In this time, I learnt not to trust a man who calls you "goddess" and quotes Princess Bride at you, AT WORK.

And people ask me why I'm single.

Health

Knock me down and I'll kick the shit out of you

After spending years getting my mental fitness back, being mugged in August 2014 set me back quite a way. Not so much that depression will return but enough that I still feel angry some days and can't always fix it. Each day is better than the last and knowing is was PTSD to start with and expecting it to happen made it easier to deal with it. The tools I have learnt through years of therapy were my saviour. This self rescuing princess totally saved herself.

The mugger was caught last October and charged with mine and another mugging. Although I don't remember his face at all or whether he was black or white and a shade of lavender, it is good to know he is being made to face what he did. I kicked him so hard in the knee when he was standing on my stomach and pulling at my handbag that he limped away in pain. Even if it was the fight bit of fight-or-flight that did it, I wasn't a victim and have proven to myself that in a stressful moment, I can be strong.

Let's get physical

This is one thing I'm still not happy about. After the mugging, I put on three to four kilograms. It has been hard to get rid of it but I am determined to do so. This is my focus for 2015. In 2013 I lost 11kg. In 2015, I intend to achieve a similar goal.

Be still, my beating heart

My emotional health is in a place that I feel safest at the moment. Having finally felt love for someone for the first time since my divorce, it was an interesting year. The pain of heart break was nowhere near as bad as my divorce was. I have learnt something very interesting about myself though. Once I have loved someone (friend or lover), I will always love them in some way. Him, I miss. He is in my thoughts every day but not voluntarily. He sneaks in to my head when I am doing things. It may always be like this but that is ok. It wasn't meant to be this time but I will still always feel that passion and compassion for him that I felt when we were together. Yes, yes, even though he was a complete jerk to me in the end. The heart wants what it wants. Stoopid heart.

2014

In summary, I worked 3 contracts, fell in love for the first time since my divorce, survived and thrived after being violently mugged, made great friends, loved and honoured my wonderful family, forgave myself my mistakes, made good choices and lived the happiest year of my life so far.

I am well proud of myself and my life in 2014. I did that one well.

2015

My aim to maintain my mindfulness and be kind to myself. With a new job, a new country and a new journey around the sun, I anticipate that the year I turn 39 will be my year. There will be awful times. There will be amazing times. There will be absolutely uneventful times and that's ok because I'm finally getting good and this. Participation, Passion and Peace are my words for this year of my life.

Let's do this shit.

Eat Pray Love

Book three of 2015 is Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.

Some days, I wonder if I'm actually female because apparently this is the book of the decade that women most relate to. Like the protagonist, I have gone through a divorce, discovered who I am and gone on to be happier than I ever was before. Despite this, I for the life of me can not stand this book.

The whole thing feels self-indulgent. The main character Liz romanticises the countries she travels too and doesn't seem to get where the happiness in the lives of people in third world countries with nothing comes from. To me she misses the whole point.

I practice mindfulness and have since late 2009. The self and situational awareness that I would expect this woman to develop is never there or at least the writer doesn't manage to convey it to me.

And what pisses me off the most is that in the end it is a man and love that makes her happy again and not herself. It is intrinsic and I was expecting that to be the big revelation... I guess since it was for me.

Disappointment is not a strong enough word. Otherwise, the story is a story and I read the whole thing in two days so it's not the worst writing in the world.

Two meaningless searches for god out of five.

Should I read this? Maybe. It wasn't for me but I could see others searching for themselves finding this encouraging, if on the most superficial level I can imagine.
What did I learn? I must be missing the gene that makes me all girly and therefore like this.

A Tale of Two Cities

Book two of 2015 is Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities.

I have been meaning to read this for a long time. This was my first experience with an eBook on Kindle and an audio book on Audible combined through Whispersync for Voice.

This story is much better than I expected. I always find Dickens a little wordy to read with an emphasis on dialogue based storing telling with "he said this" and "she said that" but it was not as awful as expected.

The plot is good if not slow but overall, I am glad I read this.

4 French Revolutions out of 5.

Should I read this? If you have the time. I'm a little obsessed with French Revolution historic fiction so take that in to account.
What did I learn? I was justified in naming my cats London and Paris, for A Tail of Two Kitties.

The Maltese Falcon

Book 1 of 2015 is the audio book dramatisation of The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett.

Sam Spade is a likable guy. He's a misogynist but it was that time and the film noir style requires it. The whole story is enjoyable and I can say that I now want to watch the Bogart movie. That isn't my usual stance after reading and liking a book.

I do love the witty repartee, like...

Gutman: "You always have, I must say, a smooth explanation ready."
Spade; "What do you want me to do? Learn to stutter?”"

It is full of good lines.

4 men-taken-by-a-beautiful-woman out of 5.

Should I read this? Yes, for sure.
What did I learn? "Once a chump, always a chump."

Assassin's Creed: Unity

Book 27 of 2014 is Assassin's Creed: Unity by Oliver Bowden.

I bought this book at the airport in Darwin and mostly read it on the four hour flight to Sydney. I love entertaining easy reads on airplanes and this was easy. That was about all it was.

As someone who hasn't played the game, I thought it sounded like a fun adventure book placed in the centre of the French Revolution. The idea isn't bad at all but like most bad stories, they had no idea how to wrap up the book without making a man save a woman.

They have a good strong female protagonist and it finishes in a way that makes her look stupid and irrational, even after 400 of 460ish pages of making her out to be so strong and driven.

1 Templar traitor out of 5.

Should I read this? Don't read this. I know, I know, I shouldn't have expected anything.
What did I learn? Computer games and books about them have no idea about women.

The Snow Queen

Woo hoo! I have reached my goal of 26 books for the year. Of those 26 books, 12 were audio books. Audio books have been a new experience for me and one that I've had to adapt to because your brain works completely differently when you read a book to when you listen to one. It has given my eyes a break and allowed me to hear stories I already knew through someone else's reading. It is true that I mainly used audio books to re-read some of my favourite books.

Book 26 of 2014 is a free audio book as a Christmas present from Audible. I recommend Audible US because it has many more titles than the Aussie site. Shoosh, don't tell them I live here.

The book was The Snow Queen by Hans Christian Anderson, read by Julia Whelan who was Audible's narrator of the year.

This a story I know very well from my childhood and has been one of the reasons I have avoided Disney's version - Frozen. They never tell a story the way it was written and tend to make the women weak and the animals sing.

This is worth the read or the listen. I'd recommend that if you read it in Darwin that you do so with the air conditioner on full.

4 evil shards of glass out of 5.

Should I read this? Yes. It is delightful.
What did I learn? People are not evil. They just have shards of evil glass in them.

The Brothers Karamazov

Book 25 of 2014 is The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky.

It is secret that I love the Russian authors and this book did not disappoint me. Although I had to stop several times and read other books in between, I enjoyed the soul challenging ideas contained within.

Although I am not a religious person, I loved the discussions and ideas around free will and our human mortality. There were a few chapters that left me lying on my bed staring at the ceiling pondering the purpose of life in the context of me, me, me.

Lines like...

"Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love."

"I love mankind, he said, "but I find to my amazement that the more I love mankind as a whole, the less I love man in particular."

"The more stupid one is, the closer one is to reality. The more stupid one is, the clearer one is. Stupidity is brief and artless, while intelligence squirms and hides itself. Intelligence is unprincipled, but stupidity is honest and straightforward."

4.5 brothers out of 5.

Should I read this? Yes. Just read it. Make it one of your 101 to read before you die.
What did I learn? The Russian authors embarrassed us in our own language.

Maze Runner Series

Books 22 (Maze Runner), 23 (The Scorch Trials) and 24 (Death Cure) of 2014 are the Maze Runner series by James Dashner.

In the post apocalyptic tradition of the Hunger Games and Divergent, Dashner gave us a group boys trapped in a giant maze trying to work out why they are there and how to escape.

The main difference between this series and the other two is that the whole experience is seen through the eyes of a 16 year old boy. The writing and thinking is obviously aimed at young men and was quite interesting to experience. It showed strength and vulnerability when I expected whinging and angst.

This series was hard to put down but that was after I got through the first book which was painfully drawn out at times. If you can make it through the Maze Runner (book one) then you will enjoy the whole journey. Each book follows are path but adds great characters and scarier and scarier monsters.

It is an easy read so do have a read.

It is an entertaining 4 right turns out of 5 in a maze.

Should I read this? If you enjoyed the Hunger Games and Divergent then this is a series for you.
What did I learn? To a young man, friendship is the more important than anything else. Even more so than girls and maybe even your life.

Self Destruction and other Bloody Games

It is hard to explain to another person what it feels like to look at yourself in the mirror each day and see your eye droop and a scar running through the middle of you face.

People tell you that they can not notice the difference but you can.

I've seen angry people, broken people and odd people with scars. I often wondered if you could see the scars in them, on them. Sometimes, I will double take and realise that they have no physical scar and then I wonder what I saw.

My biggest concern in life is the baggage that I carry and trying to not let me ruin all that comes in the future. Even with each improvement, it feels like trying to use only my body and physical strength to stop an 80 carriage freight train that is committed to its momentum.

Since being mugged, I can not seem to control the anger inside me. It isn't usually aimed at others but is more inward and destructive. Self destructive. It can not be avoided or reasoned with. It can not be placated or understood, no matter how much therapy I do.

This is something that I must get through. It is a monsoonal storm.

All that happens to me is my responsibility. All that I do to others is mine to own. All that I am, I am.

How does one reconcile the breaks they see in themself? How do I know that the scars I see in the mirror are actually physical if others don't notice them? How do I make it through the storm or stop the train or forgive myself for the brokenness of it all?

I don't know the answers. I just keep on keeping on.

Just a thought

It must be your skin I'm sinking in

It must be for real 'cause now I can feel
And I didn't mind
It's not my kind
It's not my time to wonder why

Everything's gone white
And everything's gray
Now you're here now you're away
I don't want this
Remember that
I'll never forget where you're at

Don't let the days go by

Glycerine
Glycerine

I'm never alone
I'm alone all the time
Are you at one or do you lie?
We live in a wheel
Where everyone steals
But when we rise it's like strawberry fields

If I treated you bad
You bruised my face
Couldn't love you more
You got a beautiful taste

Don't let the days go by

Could have been easier on you
I couldn't change though I wanted to
Should have been easier by three
Our old friend fear and you and me

Glycerine
Glycerine

Don't let the days go by

Glycerine

Don't let the days go by

Glycerine
Glycerine

Glycerine
Glycerine

Black moon white again
Black moon white again
And she falls around me

I needed you more
When we wanted us less
I could not kiss just regress
It might just be
Clear simple and plain
Well, that's just fine
That's just one of my names

Don't let the days go by
Could've been easier on you, you, you

Glycerine
Glycerine

Glycerine
Glycerine

14 Months of Me

Yes, yes, it can be argued that I already live a life that is all about me but this has not actually been completely true.

Over the last few years, I have spent a lot of time building my network and reestablishing my place in my profession in order to negate the depression destruction of it.

This has meant saying yes to other people and for the benefit of other people. I want to refocus on me.

My goal is to continue to extend my knowledge about a lot of things and also keep improving my brain. I want to write more, read more and sleep more alongside getting fit again.

Since the beginning of November 2014, I have put the following actions in to place and intend to continue this until at least the end of 2015. Yes, 14 months.

Now I do these things without fail...

• Get in to bed at 10PM and sleep within 30 minutes;
• Quit Facebook and other useless time wasting activities;
• Continue with my habit of reading one book a fortnight;
• Don't use the Internet after 9PM and before 8AM;
• Say yes to things I've never done before but only if they improve me as a person;
• Write at least one thing every single week;
• Have no more than one night out a week;
• Do at least three sessions of strenuous exercise per week; and
• Only allow acquaintances in my work life and not my personal life.

So far, so good. I have a lot more time for self improvement and to achieve my goals.

2015 will be fricken fantastic! I will accept no less.

I broke up with the Facebook because it just wasn't useful

A week ago, I looked at how I use the Internet weekly, daily and hourly. It looked like this:

• Facebook - hourly in that I at least looked at notifications and would share and post a lot other times;
• Blogger - once a month to post a blog post or two, usually about reading or geek stuff;
• Twitter - daily in order to find articles on topics I care about;
• Google+ - every second or third day to read topics I'm interested in and for sharing interesting articles;
• Flickr - weekly to upload pictures from my life that I want to share with loved ones;
• LinkedIn - every second or third day to find interesting things to read and participate in discussion groups. Also share interesting reading I have found and think others will like;
• Work email - week days at work but not outside work; and
• gmail - once or twice a day max and mainly for dealing with job related stuff.

Then I read a quote from Jason Yip on Twitter that said...

Worry less about "Are my feelings / Is my behaviour justified?"; worry more about "Are my feelings / Is my behaviour useful?".

That one tweet made me stop and reassess so much of who I am and what I currently do. So, I asked myself: When I use the Internet is my interaction useful?

• Facebook - No;
• Blogger - Yes;
• Twitter - Yes;
• Google+ - Sometimes;
• Flickr - Yes;
• LinkedIn - Yes;
• Work email - Absolutely; and
• gmail - Yes.

It took me less than ten minutes to then decide that I would do the following things:

• Stop using Facebook immediately and then delete my account if I didn't use it for 3 months;
• Remove Facebook, Twitter and Google+ apps from my phone and other mobile devices; and
• Log out of Twitter and Google+ and only log in when I explicitly wanted to use them.

For the first two days after stopping using it, I kept coming back to the same feelings and asked myself if the resulting reaction would be useful...

• Should I tell someone what I'm doing or feeling? Yes, but more specific people and not Facebook; and
• Should I check to see if anyone has sent me a message? No, they will contact me on my phone or via email if they need me.

After the initial habit change left me nervous and a little anxious, it all passed. Yes, I still use all the other sites with more intent than I did in the past but I don't use Facebook and I feel no need to.

Later on, I will write a more detailed post about why Facebook has irked me for the last 6-9 months and how that has aided in my persistence to not return. This is not the post for it. Again, would it be useful?

Wish me luck and if you can't find me online, you can find me on the end of a telephone.

The Monogram Murders

Book 21 of 2014 is The Monogram Murders NOT by Agatha Christie but by Sophie Hannah.

This is the first Hurcule Poirot novel that the Christie family has officially approved.

Having read every Agatha Christie novel ever before I was 18, I was very excited about this when I found it in the new books section of the ABC Shop.

Although the story is very much like a Hercule Poirot story, it was told with contempt for the little Belgian detective. Christie described him brutally sometimes but you knew she loved this character. The same love was not evident in this story.

It was ok and did keep me engaged. Each day at work, I'd be looking forward to going home so I could read more of the book. That is a real page turner but not a genuine Poirot page turner unfortunately.

My little great cells give this 3.5 murders in a hotel out of 5.

Should I read this? Absolutely, if you love Agatha Christie's Belgian detective. Let me know what you think.
What did I learn? That criticism can come across for contempt if you don't truly love your character.

The Wizard of Oz

Book 20 of 2014 is from the BFI Film Classics series and is a review by Salman Rushdie of the movie The Wizard of Oz. I'd call this an essay, more than a book but my only criteria to satisfy something is a book is if it looks like a book and quacks like a book.

In 69 pages, Salman Rushdie reviews the movie The Wizard of Oz in a way that has changed, ruined and enhanced my view of it.

He does this as the first part of a series of essays commissioned for a project by the National Film and Television Archive in the UK. This was before DVDs and IMDB and was a way of deconstructing and reviewing 360 classic movies by great minds of the time. When Rushdie looked through the list, he chose Oz as one of his favourite places as a child and decided to write about this movie.

Like anything you love that is deconstructed and discussed, some of the magic disappears but Rushdie's passion for the film and shared discovered facts compensate greatly.

The thing I did like the most was finding that this essay inspired Gregory Maguire's Wicked. I love the Oz world and Wicked continued for me, as this essay has extended it for me.

At the end of this essay, the author writes a fantastical story about the futuristic auctioning of the famous and obviously magical Ruby Slippers from the movie. There is a great quote that seems quite apt in this time...

"We, the public, are easily, lethally offended. We have come to think of taking offence as a fundamental right. We value very little more highly than our rage, which gives us, in our opinion, the moral high ground. From this high ground we can shoot down at our enemies and inflict heavy fatalities. We take pride in our short fuses. Our anger elevates, transcends. 

Salman Rushdie. At the auction of the ruby slippers. 
In: East, West. Vintage, 1995."

I give this a brain, a heart and some courage out of 5. Yes, that's a 3.5.

Should I read this? Read this if you love The Wizard of Oz movie. It would mean nothing otherwise.
What did I learn? Toto was female and her name was Terry.

A Room of One's Own

Book 19 of 2014 is Virginia Woolf's A Room of One's Own.

I've only read a couple of Virginia Woolf books and I love the way she writes. She is a born story teller who paints pictures with words. Now I know that she writes like a "woman-manly." Or was it a "man-womanly"? Either way, it makes her voice unique in a crowd where she is a minority.

This book/essay/speech is one of the most relevant (yes, even now) books that I woman can read.

Of late, life has had me wondering where I belong and what the whole damn point of it is. Belonging is important but it is more than that. The feeling was more about how I belong in a world where I can not see anyone like me. That was my mistake.

There may not be people who look like me everywhere but there are people who think like me, both men and women. This book was like taking a giant sigh after a very long week ends. She said it perfectly.

It is only 112 pages and if you can't do that then at least read the last chapter. She is brilliant. Just that.

I give it 5 revelations without bitterness out of 5.

Should I read this? Women should. Secure men should. Others will not be impressed that someone let her out of the kitchen.
What did I learn? “I need not hate any man; he cannot hurt me. I need not flatter any man; he has nothing to give me.”

The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Book 18 of 2014 is one that i have read twice now. It is a favourite and often fits in to certain contexts in my life.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being is the Milan Kundera book that you must read.

I most identify with Sabina and have been told she is dysfunctional. Maybe she is but boy does she look hot in a bowler hat.

I give it 4.5 extra-martial affairs out of 5.

Should I read this? Absolutely. A classic that you must consume, at least once.
What did I learn? Love is totally and absolutely unique to who you are. Let no one dictate otherwise.