Sunday 12 June 2011

The perfect support email from a depressed person

This email arrived in my inbox on Friday morning. At the point where I wanted to do nothing more than give up, she showed understanding that no one else had shown me. I hope it helps you to either cope or at least understand how to support someone who really needs it.

Hi Mana,

I understand how you are feeling at the moment, it's like you have lost an anchor and are at the mercy of the whims of other people's moods, comments, and your own ability to handle those at any given time.

I am definitely not going to tell you to toughen up, in my opinion that is just a bandaid solution wrapped in a blanket of denial. Healing takes time. And time, and more time. And when you think you have done all the healing that you can possibly do, some more time on top of that.

I would say I am at the stage where little comments don't hurt me anymore, but I am still definitely at the mercy of my own fragile brain that decides whether I am "okay" or "happy" or "black".

All I can do for you as well is not offer platitudes such as "don't worry, you'll get through it" or "it will be okay".... because I know how un-okay it is, and how hard it is to deal with the day to day sometimes, let alone worrying that you will ever be "through" it.

I think the key for anyone going through tough times, including myself, is to just hold on, breathe, and dont' be afraid to totally shut down and cocoon and protect yourself when you feel fragile. Be fierce with your self-protection. Don't apologise for it, and feel safe talking to people who understand.

Anyway. I hope today is better for you, and that you are protecting yourself while you feel fragile.

Tash x

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