Wednesday, 3 March 2010
I Did Survive
Today marks exactly one year since giles packed his things and walked out on me, throwing me in to the depths of depression and what I expected to be the worst year of my life.
Many people told me I would survive it. I can't say I ever believed them but I had faith. Kellie Scott compared the whole thing to someone I loved dying and the mourning that went with that. She was right, as usual. Lindsay Ratcliffe told me to take one minute at a time and then each hour and then a day and finally bigger chunks. She'd be so proud of the months I now go without a bad day.
Alice Boxhall and Rob Hunter didn't really like each other that much but they both hung out with me in the early dark days and never left me alone for a second. Both of them know the worst I can be and somehow seem to still love me.
My sister called me before _he_ left and said "when is he going?". I answered "the 3rd of March". She responded "I'll be there the next day" and she was. Her and her husband arrived early the morning after and stayed with me through the days I thought I would not survive.
Jane Nguyen came home from work with me the day he left. I asked her what I'd do if I walked in to my flat and collapsed on the ground. She said she'd pick me up. I asked what would happen if I wouldn't get up. She said she'd sit on the floor and have a G&T until I was ready to get up. I never fell over, not that day anyway. The place was trashed and she sat me on the couch and cleaned it all up before 12 of my closest girlfriends came over with fried chicken, chocolate cake and champagne to celebrate the new chapter of my life.
When I ended up in hospital, Catherine Eibner came to see me and brought a picture her 3 year old had painted for her. She told me that it always reminded her that life was so worth living and she'd brought it to remind me. Karen Urquart, Lindsay, my sister Katrina and Angela Tam all came to me that night and the next day. They kept me afloat.
My father took several weeks off work and spent time with me in March '09. He sat there patiently while I randomly burst in to tears at the drop of a hat. He really did see me at my worst.
My mother... well I can't thank her enough if I started today and told her continuously until infinity, for all the support she gave me. She was my life line. She still is.
Today, I am happy and positive about what awaits me and what I will make happen.
There are so many people who helped me survive the last year. Helped me get to the point where today is just another day and the light ahead is bright and promising. I'll try name them. If I forget anyone, please remind me. I'm sure I'll keep adding people as I remember.
Thank you to...
Mum and Dad
Katrina and Taylor
Jennifer and Madonna (my beautiful cousin sisters)
Lindsay (and Guy for sparing her)
Ines and Amanda K @ Thoughtworks
Allison C and Kellie S
Catherine, Amanda and Oli
Kelly McCusker and Sarah Kitmer
Leonie MacRaild and Rebekah Joseph
Tim Brown & the other San Fran folks
All the geek girls of Sydney
Senior management at Thoughtworks Australia and International
Adam and Vanessa Whitehead
All the supportive facebookers