Monday, 25 July 2011
Gosh, today was a day to not remember. I woke up barely able to breathe. It felt like someone was sticking pins in to my lungs. After seeing the doc, it appears that is all caused by badly inflamed lungs. I now get to use this cool thing called a spacer that delivers ventolin to my lungs to help ease the inflammation faster. The doctor reminded me of my friend Zaynab. She is a stunning and brilliant business analyst at Thoughtworks who is from Zimbabwe and of Indian descent. This doctor had a similar accent but he is a South African Indian. I miss Zaynab. She is far away in another land. Another nomad.
I'm watching friends in turmoil and feeling helpless. All I can do is love them. Be their scaffolding. That's what I always say friends are supposed to be. Friends are scaffolding. They hold you up until you can do it yourself. Will just keep doing that.
I'm listening to people who said they were friends but then show their true colours. In the past, that would shatter me and gain more than a passing paragraph in a post prefaced with a lolcat picture. Now, it just seems to be something I accept and put behind me. Those people don't much matter in the Damana Show.
I'm seeing a beautiful world around me. Being mindful of what is buzzing by. Absorbing the gorgeousness of existing. This and one other thing has made me want to show that more. I've decided to keep writing and describing my life and world. Even if no one reads it, I will again. Each day my view of the world will improve and I will look back and see how I saw it now... then... now.
Even on the days when it is hard to breathe and friends are in pain and people disappoint me, life doesn't seem too bad. There is beauty and kindness in my life. I am a lucky one.
What's for supper?