When I left home, I went to you. I remember that you weren't always cold. There were nights when you were so warm that neither of us slept a wink.
In 2006 we were at our happiest. My 30th birthday. Dancing lessons. A wedding. So many friends.
And then something broke.
Sydney came between us. My depression didn't help. You weren't there for me but then again... maybe I left you and that added to me breaking. You were always there. I mean, you existed but we were not together. Both alive and breathing but not together. Maybe there were days when we saw each other again or reconnected. Hell! There were entire weekends. It didn't stop the separation though.
When it got bad, I felt you had gone forever and that nothing could ever change the memories that then pained me so much. My escape to Darwin or my exile to the north was necessary. You were thousands of miles away and didn't so much as show you cared.
I spoke of other loves, of Darwin and Sydney and places that you weren't.
In 2011, when I thought I'd healed, I ventured back to the start. To that cold place. Us. It was not until 2012 that the memories were rewritten and you no longer made me cry. In fact, I could think of you and smile.
Sometimes I still hate you. Sometimes I still can't stand how cold you get. Sometimes I smile because we knew each other so well and that is coming back.
Thank you for coming back in to my life.
Thank you, Canberra. I am glad I am here and that we are back together.
Yours for now,