Sunday, 17 March 2013

Distraction


For a few years in my life recently, I would spend a lot of time distracting myself with activities and people so that I wouldn't have to think about all the awful stuff that had been my past life.

I made friends and spent wonderful moments with them. I still do.

I tried hobbies and developed life long skills that have extended who I am by leaps and bounds.

I read a few books and now have a library in my head and so many more to read.

The other day while waiting for some close friends to turn up to drinks at the Hyatt Graden Moet Bar, I was left with some time to myself. They were all about 30 minutes late and as usual, I was on time or early as usual.

I grabbed a glass of bubbly, a glass of water and then spent 25 minutes setting up my new phone that work gave me.

When everyone turned up, I was happy to show off my new phone and get right back in to people time.

The revealing moment though was that it is no longer about distracting myself from the horrors of reliving the past in my head. The moments alone are no longer lonely. I don't need to be distracted.

This is a huge thing. A big realisation. A giant step forward for Mana-kind.

2 comments:

Alison said...

Being content, if not happy, with your own company is something that I've found isn't a trait shared by as many people as I thought. It's a great place to be and am glad that you're no longer seeking distraction instead of being content with your own company :)

Mana said...

Thanks, Alison. It is a lovely feeling :)