Monday, 12 April 2010

No, it didn't work

People told me "Damana, in a year or so you will look back on your time with Giles and remember the good times but you would have moved on. You will see it as a good thing."

It's more than a year now. I try not to calculate exactly the number of days. He felt out of love with me two years before he even left. That was 5 months after we were married. He was the one who wanted to get married.

So he's off now with his new girlfriend called Nadia, who looks like a lovely person. Someone I would even be friends with. She's thin. Flat stomach. Straight hair. White. Not anything like me.

I know that if someone doesn't love you then you are better off without them but I don't feel better off. I still feel heartbroken. I still feel devastated. I still cry myself to sleep. I still hope he thinks of me at all.

This has to end, right? It can't be this way forever. I don't want to feel like this anymore.


Anonymous said...

:( I dunno what to say gorgeous. Hope it starts getting easier soon.

In my eyes you are gorgeous and have a lovely personality. I hope the pain goes away soon so xoxo.

I have no idea what Giles is thinking but I do know that you deserve so much happiness and don't worry about Nadia and how she looks etc. Only time can tell how they will end up and who knows one day you might turn around and thankfully think oh crap that coulda been me.

gonna sign anon but hopefully u can figure out who I am.

ps: boobies , urs are great ;)

Nikki said...

My dear,

I once had a boyfriend who I had been with for more than 5 years, and it was devastating when he told me that it was over. So I've been where you are, and I can point out a few things.

1. It doesn't take a certain amount of time, it just takes as long as it takes. That's grief for you, different for everyone.

2. I kept in touch with my ex. I knew what he was doing, who he was seeing, I even met up and chatted with him. A good friend pointed out that I should move on, and he was right. You should not know any details about your ex's life, or care. You should be too busy living!

3. You were once single, and strong, and looking for a companion. You did it before, you will do it again.

I hope this helps.

You never know where the next good guy will be. That good friend from point 2 - he's now my husband. And I'm not the marrying type!

Love you


K said...

I second what is said above! Well put, ESP about how long it will take.

I also 'sixth' the boobie, cos of your pair+anon+mine \0/