Monday, 7 April 2014
In software engineering we have a way of working that we refer to as "agile." It means that we behave in a way that makes it easier for us to adapt to change.
I often joke that I work as an agent of change so that I can make others change and not myself :)
There is an idea we work around that says that before we start any task, we must define upfront how we will know that a task is completed.
We call this the Acceptance Criteria.
Today, I applied this concept to a life situation and it helped me accept that what I thought was a case of friendship was really no more than a case of me being played.
As readers of this blog well know, I can be easily be convinced that 'gullible' has been removed from the Oxford English Dictionary. This often underwrites my tendency to believe people when they tell me something and that they are not lying to me. As a logician, I see the flaw in this statement immediately but apparently not in reality.
The acceptance criteria today involved checking what it means for someone to actually care for me. A friend for instance. A person who cares about how they make me feel and care that I am not made sad by their actions. A person who takes the time to understand where I am coming from. A person who gives me the benefit of the doubt. A person who would not act against me, no matter the situation.
Application of said criteria resulted in a fail.
I am a good friend. I am learning that I can not expect that from everyone.