I've been hammered for writing this post which I think is due to the lag between this and my follow ups. I'd still like to post my observations and opinions as just that - my opinions. I think that as a female, I have a unique perspective and am qualified to speak on the subject.
What I do not want to do is make the guys that read this think that "it's their fault" because that's not it at all. I think there are social rules and social biases at play. Women are just as responsible as men to open up our profession to more women, or at least encourage women to stay. That's why I'm writing this. I want other geek girls to know that they are not alone. I know how you feel but I've found techniques that will help you stay as a developer in a male dominated business.
Oddly enough, this just isn't about men.