Friday, 8 October 2010
"HTFU Princess" is the abbreviated way of saying "Harden The Fuck Up Princess" when someone is whinging about something.
Yesterday, it was the cool thing to say "R U OK?" because that was theme for the day. As you can tell, I feel a little bit of contempt for some of these depression awareness days. Of course, it is for people without depression to remind themselves not to be complete thoughtless shits to those around them suffering depression.
Trust me, not all depressed people are as vocal and bloody ranty as me. There is at least one person around you who regularly suffers from it. While you are sitting there discussing work issues at a meeting or over a coffee with friends, they will be fighting off the idea that they could end all this misery if they took a cab ride to The Gap (suicide point) and just walked off the edge.
Those are the ones who feel destructive inwardly, like me. There are others who think only of hurting the world around them in anyway they can. They are men and women. They are young and old. They are alone in their heads, taunted by their brain chemistry.
So you guys have your one day a year when you ask if your mates are ok and then you go on to pink ribbon day or feed the starving kids day. It eases your middle class guilt. It lets the liberals believe they are so empathic and in touch with the real lives of those less fortunate.
I know this because I was like that. I was you. I thought I understood and empathised and cared and showed support. Damn, I was wrong.
If you give a shit about people around you then ask "are you ok?" every single time you see them and listen to the answer. It won't always be "yes, darling I'm brilliant". One day, that silent miserable soul will tell you the truth AND it won't be on International Give A Shit Day.
Walk more than one day in their shoes. They have to. I'd not wish it upon a single one of you to go through what I have experienced in the last year and a bit. Not even on my worst enemy or my ex-husband.
Next time you tell me to HTFU Princess, I'll laugh hysterically at you. I'm much stronger than you EVERY SINGLE DAY.