Monday, 18 October 2010

My New Superpowers

When you think nothing else could go wrong, something does. If you cry then it's going to get you even more than it just did. If you stand outside yourself and look at it then you can often have a big laugh. These things give the best stories. I'm sure you'll read a post in the future that laughs even harder at this.

Do you all remember Spiderman? He was bitten by a radioactive spider and it made him so crazy he kissed Kirsten Dunst? Poor guy.

And then there are people who are bitten by a wolf and end up having excessive facial hair issues and the major grumps once a month. Not unlike a few women I know. Now there will be a picture of a half naked Taylor Lautner, for no real reason. Oh yeah, he was a werewolf in that Twilight movie.

Well, you know how I was not supposed to walk around much on that broken foot of mine? This rule was just enforced by a pesky little arachnid.

I don't know what the little bastard looked like but I'd say the picture above is pretty close from what I remember.

Brilliant me decided to take a street parallel to Bourke St, in order to avoid people. I am not all that Paris Hilton today. I have been wearing around thongs (flip flops for the Americans) to be nice to my broken foot. I stepped over a pile of rubbish that looked like what used to be an office chair or ninja training ground. It was easy enough to avoid but did push me towards a fence and a pile of old leaves and other outdoorsy type materials.

That is where my friend, apparently a wolf spider, lay in wait. They are super shy but he may have heard about my recent unkind words towards introverts because he stuck his evil little fangs in to the side-ish bottom-bit of my left foot.

It didn't exactly hurt straight away. It was more like a little prick. Then it got very painful and incredibly itchy. It's not deadly poisonous to humans because we are so damn big but it hurts and is swollen. The doctors at St Vincent's cleaned up the bite and gave me antibiotics. Apparently, it could get infected and... oh good, all those horrible urban legends of spider bites come to mind. Quick, change the topic.

I'm lying on the couch. Am supposed to ice the foot once in a while. That helps the swelling. I have a plaster over the bite and it looks like a mosquito bite with more lumpiness.

Who knows what will happen next? I don't think I've read a comic book with enough information to help me deal with being a Spiderwoman Werewolf Superchick. Maybe I'll end up kissing Kirsten Dunst like flat chested women and then biting their faces off.

That is a superpower being used for good, right?

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